Mind & Motion

I’m a Mom

Posted in Inspiration, Personal Essays by Meghan Pickrell on June 4, 2014

Pregnant at the pool

Here I am pregnant in Palm Springs

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At 10 months!

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In bed together on the day she was born

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Ahhh… love her

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In all her chub

So, I have a baby. Henrietta J Ulloa was born March 8th, 2014 at 3:55am after a 29 hours… well, 10 months and 29 hours. She’s a handful and a lover. She’s taking all of my time. Even now I’m debating between showering and finishing this post because I know I only have a short window until my little one wakes. It’s interesting but I actually love that she’s taking all of my time. I get to just “sit” with her and enjoy the moment. Babies really get you to stop and tune into the present moment. It’s sort of liberating… like yoga.

It’s been an interesting year. Being pregnant, creating a life and nourishing that little life has been a journey. All I can say is that my body is pretty amazing. The fact that it can do all that. The fact that I did all that…. makes me honored and thrilled to be a woman.

Her birth was, well… long. And exhausting. It was more of an athletic feat than a spiritual awakening. Also, more like a marathon than a sprint.  It started on Thursday at 9pm and ended on Saturday at 3:55am. Two days without sleep, little food (mostly because of the nausea), and tons of pain. The pain I could endure… sort of, but the fatigue was really hard. It was like participating in the biggest athletic competition of my life without proper rest and nourishment. When I began to push at 27 hours in my whole body was engaged in a way that I’ve never really felt (at least to that extent). It was like every cell in my body had a mission: to get that baby out! Did I mention that she was born at home?… In the hallway, on a birthing stool to be exact. When that little (big) baby popped out all I could think was – damn, women are amazing. I don’t think it would have been easier to have been in the hospital with medication (well, maybe) or to have had a c-seciton.  Here is what I am left with: any way that a life is brought into the world, whether with the help of pain relievers, cesearan, or without intervention is incredible and harrowing. It’s looking life in the face, straight on. It brings an appreciation for life that I haven’t felt before.  My body did that. My body brought me Henri.

I’ve been back that studio moving around again, sleeping when able, and taking my vitamins. I’m still 10 lbs heavier than pre-Henri. My belly is round, my breast engorged and my hair is well, falling out. However, I’m OK with all of it. My body has given me so much. I am proud of its enduring strength and ability. It’s incredible.

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